Things not to say to / ask a tall lady
(plus a few great comebacks)

• Don't use the classic phrase: "Do you play basketball?"

• Don't use the other "classic" "What's the weather like up there?" either.

• Don't call her a "Giantess!"

• Don't ask her for her height when you first meet / e-mail her.

• Don't ask her for her shoe-size when you first meet / e-mail her.

• Don't ask her for other measurements like waist, chest, hand-size etc.

• Don't ask her if she will carry you around.

• Don't ask her if she has got a taller sister / mother / daughter.

• If she is much taller than you - don't stare at her cleavage.

• Don't call her "Amazon". Some girls may not mind but you can't be sure that the one you're talking to doesn't.

• Don't call her "Big Bird" - that generally doesn't go down too well.

• Don't call her "Jolly Green Giant" - see the reference to "Big Bird".

• Don't ask her to stand in the door-frame in order for you to take a picture - at least not on your first date.

• Don't ask her to bow down - get yourself a milk-crate or a ladder instead.

• Don't try and hide behind her back if there is some trouble brewing up. Tall ladies enjoy the feeling of being protected too (at least most of them do).

Here are a few good ones from 6'4" Nancy:

• "You could wrap those legs around me twice"

• "Now there's a tree I'd like to climb"

• "I could eat my way to the top"

And a few stupid questions with a fitting comeback courtesy of Muggs from CA:

• "Are you really that tall?  (NO! I'm really standing on stilts!)"

• "Are your parents tall?  (Duh!  I had to get my height from somewhere!! Huh?)"

• "When first meeting people they say, "WOW!! You'll tall!"  (Hey! Tell me something I don't know!! [rolling eyes]!!)"

Here's one sent in by Debbie:

• One of my (male) friends asked to try on this tall girl's sneakers to see if they wore the same shoe size.

One more - from Elizabeth (includes a great comeback):

The best come back I've ever developed to deal with the short - and always EXTREMELY cocky/mouthy/blustering - guys who view me as their personal Mt. Everest rather than a person is to pat them gently on top of their head and tell 'em:

• "Don't worry, hon'... just as soon as you hit puberty, you'll start to grow, too."

Because these jerks are always in a pack, the total embarrassment they suffer is doubled because alllllll their friends are watching. :-)

Sherree suggested this one:

• "She’s really, really, really tall, but not as tall as you."

Two great comeback suggestions from Elaine (6'2"):

Jeanne is angry:

• I'm 6'2" and I've heard "How's the weather up there?" so many times I could puke! I usually tell them "A little thin but I've gotten used to it" or "Oh, I don't know. Would you like me to pick you up so you can see for yourself?"

6'0" Monica has come up with this one:

• When asked, "How tall are you?" I say, "6 foot and worth the climb." Then I do a spin and walk off letting them know they'll never have the chance!

Carrie Ann who is 6'0" says:

• When you're using cheesy pick-up lines and telling me how I've really grown into a lovely hour-glass figure and I tell you to get over it, don't say my legs are too long for you to get over, or I'm too tall for you to get over.

Holly suggests:

• If you feel like getting nasty... When someone asks you, "How's the weather up there?", my mother always told me to spit and say, "Looks like rain." Neither of us ever did it of course but it is kind of funny.

Shannon wrote in and commented:

• My mother's (6') comeback to "How's the weather up there" was, "There's a telephone in my ass, call up and find out!"

Emily uses those:

• Whenever a total stranger walks up to me and asks "Do you play basketball" I always (knowingly) reply, "No, why?" Of course, the other person says "Because you're so tall!" Without missing a beat I respond,"You're pretty short, but I didn't ask you if you were a gymnast, did I?"

• Sometimes I change it up and say, "Well, you're pretty short -- do you ride horses?"

Pat just sent me this one:

• I'm 6'2" and when people ask "How tall are you? I say 5' 14" and you should see their faces!! Thanks, Pat.

Kim wrote in to suggest an "old" classic:

• I’m 6 foot tall. When I’m asked if I play basketball (which happens more often than is imaginable) I respond, “No, do you play miniature golf?”

Ashley writes:

• People tell me all the time that "it must suck to be so tall" and I say no, cause you have to try to stand out, me , I could sit down and still stand out.

Hannah has come up with:

• If somebody says '' how tall are you?'' you say ''I don't know, how much do you weigh?''

Brenda says:

• Hi! I'm 6'2" & when asked if I'm standing on a box, I say no, are you standing in a hole? (was a cashier behind a counter). Also, when asked what I'm standing on, I say I'm standing on the Word of God.
  Brenda (love this site, thanks!)

The latest comment comes from Celia:

• I hit 6 feet in high school and when people asked me if my parents were tall, I'd respond with a perfectly straight face and tell them "My parents are circus midgets!"

Kate writes:

• My dad told me this one to say to people after they ask me "How's the weather up there?" "I don't know. What's it like down by my ass?" Good if you're feeling nasty.

Jennifer says:

• Hi, I am 6ft in WV so I get this one a lot: "How did you get so tall???" (Rolling my eyes)... Answer: "My dad used miracle grow!"

Drew (6'1") wrote in to suggest:

• This snappy reply works in most situations in which a shorter person asks a question that you find annoying: "Stand up and say that." Of course they need to be standing already. Got that one from my Dad.

Vicki (6'2") has a few thoughts:

• Hi there! What a great site this is! I'm only just beginning to look around, starting with the quotes was a great choice… what a great group of women, and wow, does it feel good knowing I'm not alone!

  I'm 6'2" and when somebody asks me how tall I am I say nothing, I just look at them with a blank stare, nobody ever knows what to do!

  One of the worst things I hear is from other tall women (if you can believe it). I have had so many of them stand next to me and say "I thought I was tall!" as if to imply that there is no longer anything wrong with her because I'm a bigger freak!

  Another just awful thing that I CAN'T STAND is when short people stand next to me and start jumping up and down… it used to embarrass me before I became a mom to four wonderful children and was blessed with the knowledge that there are SO MANY more important things in life and that people who do things like that are lacking something… who does that?

  I almost forgot one… I grew up without a father and when somebody asks me "is your dad tall?" I say "I don't know, he married the next door neighbor after having a three year affair with her, I was only six so I can't quite recall how tall he is…" if they’re still standing there I go on about how he adopted her two daughters (one of which had been my best friend) and sent them to college while I paid my own way through and how I found this out by visiting a friend at college and had someone say to me after I told her my name "I know your sister Michelle" and I say "I don't have a sister Michelle" and then it dawns on me that she was referring to my ex-friend who was now apparently my sister and apparently attends college at the university I was only visiting for the weekend because I couldn’t afford to go there… And then I say "the next time I run into her I could ask her how tall our dad is…"

  I just go on and on and on. It really is hysterical… hey, if somebody asks a question…

  ~Vicki

Here's what 6'3" Octavia has to say:

• Stranger: Do you play basketball? Octavia: No, why? Stranger: You're so tall? Octavia: Do you play football? Stranger: No, why? Octavia: Because you're so fat! (Joerg adds: I'm not sure if this was an actual conversation though)

This one comes from Nancy who is 6'0":

• Whenever someone tells me "Wow, you're really tall!" or calls me an Amazon or the such, I just laugh and tell them "Sorry for your bad luck" which I truly believe!

Zeusa (who doesn't make "my height requirement") suggests:

• Question (by a man) to very tall woman: "Do you ever get mistaken for a man?" Response from very tall woman: "Only when I kick a man's ass!"

6'1 1/2" Jennifer has quite a few things to say:

I just read through your Things not to say to a tall lady... you really have no idea how many times I have heard those comments. I have been over 6 foot since I was 12 so I have had plenty of time to think up happy witty comebacks.

• Q: How tall are you? I'm 6 foot 1 and a half. Note: That half is important - If I gave that 'half' people would not say the normal dumb things, they would get stuck on that half and make fun of it. "oh like being over 6 foot isn't enough, you have to count that half." That half cut dumb comments in half.

• Q: You look like Big Bird. A: You look like (insert best Muppet character here) Note: Miss Piggy works great and Kermit is actually very offensive used this way. Face it, who wants to be snuffel-up-agas?

• Q: You're the Jolly Green Giant. A: And you're his little friend?? A: Are you color blind? (If said seriously, you can actually see them think about it.)

• Q: How's the weather up there? A: Great, there's no short people polluting it. A: Good for me, but I have gas so I bet it's windy where you are. A: My knees feel wet, are you getting rain? A: It's clear up here. Are you getting snow or is that dandruff?

Telling me I can't wear heels because they make me taller is like telling someone 5 feet tall that they can't have flats because they make them shorter.

Great site, thanks for the giggle,
Jen

6'4" Amanda loves to say:

• "I am a mighty sequoia in a field of bonsai!"

6'1 1/2" Veronica writes:

• First I wanna say, love the site.

I get a lot of off comments about my height so here's a few of my comebacks.

• To the ever so popular "Do you play basketball?" Question I normally reply with either: "Yea, want me to dunk your head in a basketball hoop for ya?" or "I use to until I got tired of tripping over the cheerleaders."

• When called an Amazon I normally just tell them "Yes, and you're lucky it's illegal to carry a bow and arrow set around because I could use a moving target"

• When asked "Why are you so tall?" I just retort with "Why are you short enough to use as an armrest?"

• Yea...I get snappy with the comebacks because I get tired of being asked about my height....

6'1 1/2" Tera just wrote in to say:

• When men ask me how tall I am, I will say something like, "Tall enough to see your bald spot".

5'11" Erica emailed the following comment:

• GREAT SITE! Thank you so much! I get a lot of comments from people when I wear heels (and I love some really cute, really tall shoes!). The convo goes something like this: "Why are you wearing heels? As if you need the height!" My response: "It's not my fault you're short." (mixed reaction depending on delivery)

If you happen to have more "not to's" or comebacks please send me an e-mail. If they are good I'll add them to the list. Cheers!

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