CHAPTER 1: The bitter reality of the normal distribution curve.
I've always thought that the best one wins! In any case, in any setting. So the more qualified you are, attractive, intelligent, kind, honest, rational etc…the more you are likely to have a better life.
I WAS WRONG!
The case is that the more common, ordinary and non exceptional you are the more you are likely to have a peaceful, happy and harmonious life!!!
Its as simple as that: Majority wins! So lets say that we have a group of 999 idiots and 1 intelligent person who vote for a matter. What gets decided? I think you already know the answer: The stupidest solution! Statistically proven!
All my life I have struggled to be the best or at least among the best in what I'm doing. People who have known me over my life course know that. They have seen it, they have sensed it. Of course I had failures, big ones indeed… It's human nature, you can't always be successful but that's not the case. It's the underlying behavioral pattern that matters. Its your cosmic theory, the way you were brought up … It's this adrenaline rush I get when I feel that I have achieved something. It makes you feel alive… At least certain people…
I have never thought, though that I belong somewhere, this feeling of security and comfort… Because I didn't… I have always expected an attack, verbal, practical …something to put me out of rest. Several times I have asked my self: What am I doing to deserve this? Aren't I honest, intelligent, good-looking, hardworking etc enough. What am I missing? The answer is that I am not like all the rest. I am not average.
According to psychological research methods outliers are eliminated from the normal distribution curve. It really doesn't matter whether you are really bad or good as long as you are not average….
CHAPTER 2: Human dynamics…
This article is directed to tall females in their childhood and adolescent years. The truth though is that all the statements made here are not only applied to height but to any other characteristic - physical or not - that distinguishes a person from the rest.
Ever since I could remember myself I was head a taller than all the rest. Subconsciously - what does a child know…. - it gave me a feeling of pride but I was always conscious that I was different that all the other kids. What really made me doubt my self is this psychological war that was directed towards me while growing up. They just couldn't accept the fact that I was different. You do become brainwashed!!!! It is really tragic how your rationality can turn against you. "If everybody says that and I am not then in all probability they are right and I am wrong" is what rationally you would think.
That is not the case: People would support what is more convenient to them, according to their interests. And if most people are average, statistically speaking you are about to be found in the small range that is isolated.
Over the years I have read many biographies… Everybody thought that Einstein was crazy…and he was the most intelligent man in the world……. Claudia Schiffer confessed that all her life was slouching because she was the tallest kid in the school….. and that was the primary characteristic that led her to become a supermodel! Mozart was attacked all his life my someone who was…. simply average, Salieri (excuse my incorrect spelling)….. and was led to death.
All these exceptional people had really hard lifes. They were paying the price of being different.
Apply that to your everyday life: Who sells the biggest number or records, wins in reality shows? Certainly not the most gifted. Who is the most popular girl at school? Certainly not the tallest, most beautiful, best student, creative, humorous or generous.
The answer is the one to whom most others can relate or can benefit from.That is truly the answer. All your qualities no matter how exceptional they are, are indifferent to others if they don't see themselves related somehow to them.
The same principle is applied to friendships. How many times were you bitter about the way you were treated when you have been so good to others? Those people simply weren't the same kind of people as you ,so don't expect to get treated accordingly.
CHAPTER 3: The lost femininity
With men things are even more complicated. If you do think that things have changed much since the 50's the you are wrong.Legally yes,mentally very little. It took me a while to accept it my self. My mum says that God gave to males strength and to females brains. I still can't accept the fact how men think.That's probably the reason I have never been popular with them. I have always tried to upgrade myself in order to be able to claim more from relationships.The more I did the worse I made things for me….. Do you know why?
Because I got stressed and I stressed others as well(Stress is contagious!)
I got better and I was not easily accessible.
I was respectful and others thought I was snobbish.
That's it! I do know you have the best intentions, BUT WHO CARES? If you want to get results you should talk to the other person's language. And if the other person's language is not very sophisticated then either you have to downgrade yours or…. simply not expect anything from them, abandon them no matter how painful that is. I know this angers you….. I had my piece of frustration as well… I have recovered from most of my anger over time…. I think I have…. In fact I was furious….. It still gets to me… I encourage you to read Marian's must read article "I won. I am sorry!".
Many friends of mine who are men say that this is not true, they just don't have the time to deal with women who pretend to be sophisticated. I think this is an excuse. A truly sophisticated woman doesn't have to pretend to be anything.
I am probably the biggest fan of the male role: In fact I would love to have a man who is a leader,strong and tender towards me. A stronger man? Why not… The point is how many men really adhere to the male role? From my experience and what my friends say, noone … In fact most women I know are the head of the family as they are the ones who really deal with the financial matters and do all the work. Only on the outside men look as if they are the ones who take up responsibility, who go to pay the bill.
I have heard it from a friend of mine: "Whenever I wanted a man I had to fight for him. They simply wouldn't take the initiative to be straightforward with me". With a very tall woman, things are even worse… Men are so intimidated they would never admit it. I have abandoned my feminine identity years ago, simply because I was led to. I could see in they eyes that I threatened them somehow… Some have even admitted that they would never have approached me if I hadn't talked to them first. I cannot change my physique so at the end of their day it their problem. Don't think that things are different with tall men. In fact things are worse. Tall men are probably most threatened by a very tall woman simply because they are used at looking down at women. Combine that with the sense of masculinity that every man has to boost his ego and there is not chance that they will go after a tall woman. They are doubly threatened. Small women are convenient to them and boost their sense of superiority. I am speaking from experience… you have seen it yourselves: It's always a tall man with a short woman. Many of them have the hang ups that were created to them because of teasing in their younger years… Therefore they don't want to double the effect they are causing by dating someone very tall like themselves.